I don't quite know where to start with this because I'm not sure I understand it. I've always felt like I know that certain things are going to happen before they happen. It's usually more of a general feeling that something bad is going to happen rather than knowing an exact event. But lately I believe that I'm receiving signs of deaths that are about to occur.
Last November I was down in my basement going through some old boxes of stuff from when I was a kid. I came across an old photo from a pool party my parents had. The photo was of a friend of ours jumping off the diving board. Literally the next day I got the phone call that that same person died of an overdose.
What really has me kind of spooked is that yesterday I was down in my basement again, looking for something in the boxes and I found an old Michael Jackson tape. And of course he died today. I've learned enough in my years of studies to know that there are no coincidences.
It's happened other times as well when something (a picture, something in a store, a story, etc.) will suddenly make me think of someone. Then I'll later learn that they died or something bad happened to them (an accident or something like that).
So obviously I'm being given signs, but what am I supposed to do with them? And how do I know what are signs and what's just random thoughts? Anyone have any experiences, advice, or thoughts about this? If so, please comment or send me a message. I'm just not sure what to make of it. It's such an eerie feeling.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Blessed Litha
Yesterday was Litha, the summer solstice. To celebrate the holiday I held a ritual to re-dedicate myself to the study of the craft and to the Divine. It was a wonderful rite and I had a couple interesting experiences. At the end of the rite I did some divination work with my crystal ball (first time I've used it) and the flame of a candle. I say for a while and let images come to me. I saw a few faces pass by, but one image that stayed for quite a while was my dog (that we just had to put down a couple weeks ago), so that was pretty special. Then, when I was finished I reached over to pick my glasses up off the floor next to me and noticed a large spider. It seemed like it was just sitting there watching me work, because before I even moved to get up it left. It was so strange, but so cool at the same time (I suppose it's a good thing that I'm not afraid of spiders!).
As I thought about the spider, I realized that spiders have emerged as a common theme lately. They keep coming to me in odd situations. First I was at school and as I was leaving the classroom there was a spider that crawled across the floor and a couple girls shrieked and one kept yelling at the other to step on it. I told them to let it go, that it wasn't hurting anyone. Afterward I felt really good about what I did for the spider (which was strange to me). Then I was at the zoo and was walking into an exhibit when someone behind me stopped me because there was a big spider on my shirt and they brushed it off. Then the one last night. I think I need to explore what my guides are trying to tell me.
As I thought about the spider, I realized that spiders have emerged as a common theme lately. They keep coming to me in odd situations. First I was at school and as I was leaving the classroom there was a spider that crawled across the floor and a couple girls shrieked and one kept yelling at the other to step on it. I told them to let it go, that it wasn't hurting anyone. Afterward I felt really good about what I did for the spider (which was strange to me). Then I was at the zoo and was walking into an exhibit when someone behind me stopped me because there was a big spider on my shirt and they brushed it off. Then the one last night. I think I need to explore what my guides are trying to tell me.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Update on the "talk"
Well, they just left and it did go better than I thought. They did think that because I had a book like that that it meant I was practicing witchcraft. Which of course it's not, the fact that I do is completely beside the point. Anyway, I pretty much reassured them that I didn't believe anything in that book was real.
They did turn it into a question of my beliefs. They asked if I believed in God, and I said yes (but left out that I also believe in Goddess as well). Then they asked me flat out if I'm a Christian...that was a little difficult to work around. I told them that I'm not one to blindly follow a path that someone else says that I should. That I'm searching for the truth and that no one can know with absolute certainty what the truth is until they find out in death. I brought up other religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism...) and that they all believe theirs is the correct path and that maybe we are all wrong, but we can't know that. Even my dad said that if we lived in another part of the world that we may have practiced another religion.
So I think they have accepted that I'm searching for the right path. It's obvious that they aren't ready to know that I've found it in Paganism. So I'll remain in the "broom closet" a while longer. Right now I'm fine with them thinking that this is some kind of hobby or interest rather than my actual beliefs. I'm just glad to have this conversation over with. And as for the book, they have left it up to me whether I keep it or send it back (although I know they want me to send it back). I told them it's no different than collecting Star Wars memorabilia, so I think I'll keep it (but keep it hidden so they don't have to see it again).
They did turn it into a question of my beliefs. They asked if I believed in God, and I said yes (but left out that I also believe in Goddess as well). Then they asked me flat out if I'm a Christian...that was a little difficult to work around. I told them that I'm not one to blindly follow a path that someone else says that I should. That I'm searching for the truth and that no one can know with absolute certainty what the truth is until they find out in death. I brought up other religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism...) and that they all believe theirs is the correct path and that maybe we are all wrong, but we can't know that. Even my dad said that if we lived in another part of the world that we may have practiced another religion.
So I think they have accepted that I'm searching for the right path. It's obvious that they aren't ready to know that I've found it in Paganism. So I'll remain in the "broom closet" a while longer. Right now I'm fine with them thinking that this is some kind of hobby or interest rather than my actual beliefs. I'm just glad to have this conversation over with. And as for the book, they have left it up to me whether I keep it or send it back (although I know they want me to send it back). I told them it's no different than collecting Star Wars memorabilia, so I think I'll keep it (but keep it hidden so they don't have to see it again).
So annoyed! What do I do...?
Ok, so I'm a HUGE fan of the show Charmed and have been since it first aired. I own all 8 seasons on DVD and know just about all there is to know about the show. So I was looking around online and found a replica of the show's Book of Shadows and I bought it. Well it came in the mail on Friday and I was down at my parent's house and the mailman brought it there (instead of my house for some unknown reason). Anyway, I opened it and looked at it a little bit before we left on our trip down to Indianapolis for the weekend.
We got back from the trip today and I asked my mom to bring my book up to me when she brought my luggage. Well she brought my bags, but "forgot" the book. She said she was going to go home to get it and brink it back (we live right next door to each other). Well, I waited and waited and she never came back.
So I called her and asked her if she was coming up and she gives me the whole "we need to talk" line. She and my dad looked at the book and think it's "pretty scary". OMG, it's a prop from a TV show!!!! So now tomorrow they want to sit down and talk about this book. What am I supposed to say to them? For crying out loud, I'm 25 years old and it's a FICTIONAL book! They want to see a book about witchcraft, I'll show them my real BOS, geez! This is such bull and it's not worth my time.
I'm exhausted tonight, but I know I'm not going to able to sleep and tomorrow I'll be all stressed out because I know this "talk" is going to turn into a huge screaming fight. Why can't they mind their own **** business?! They have no problem with me reading Twilight. What's the difference? Apparently books about vampires aren't as scary as books about witches. Whatever... And they wonder why I feel like I have to hide things from them. It's because they do stupid crap like this to piss me off!
I've told them it's a prop from a TV show and apparently that's not enough for them. I was thinking about having the show on when they came up to show them. But what I don't get, is that THEY bought me most of the seasons from the show on DVD. My mom has seen bits and pieces of the show when I've watched it at their house. So obviously something else is bothering them. This is just ridiculous!
I have every intention of making it VERY clear to them that this book has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs. If I believed in everything that's in that show I would deserve professional help. That's crazy. I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I think that they don't believe that I do. And that's their issue and not mine.
I'm sure I'm stressing over all this and it's not going to be as bad as I think it will. And I certainly hope that's the case. I've been in such a horrible mood all day and I hate it! It's so draining to go around this pissed off about something. I'll be glad when this is over. Worse case scenario, I'm prepared to find a new place to live, a job, and keeping them out of my life until they can get over themselves. They don't own me and they can't force their beliefs on me. And I don't need their permission to own a book (no matter what book it is)!
I'll post an update after they leave!
~Lyra
We got back from the trip today and I asked my mom to bring my book up to me when she brought my luggage. Well she brought my bags, but "forgot" the book. She said she was going to go home to get it and brink it back (we live right next door to each other). Well, I waited and waited and she never came back.
So I called her and asked her if she was coming up and she gives me the whole "we need to talk" line. She and my dad looked at the book and think it's "pretty scary". OMG, it's a prop from a TV show!!!! So now tomorrow they want to sit down and talk about this book. What am I supposed to say to them? For crying out loud, I'm 25 years old and it's a FICTIONAL book! They want to see a book about witchcraft, I'll show them my real BOS, geez! This is such bull and it's not worth my time.
I'm exhausted tonight, but I know I'm not going to able to sleep and tomorrow I'll be all stressed out because I know this "talk" is going to turn into a huge screaming fight. Why can't they mind their own **** business?! They have no problem with me reading Twilight. What's the difference? Apparently books about vampires aren't as scary as books about witches. Whatever... And they wonder why I feel like I have to hide things from them. It's because they do stupid crap like this to piss me off!
I've told them it's a prop from a TV show and apparently that's not enough for them. I was thinking about having the show on when they came up to show them. But what I don't get, is that THEY bought me most of the seasons from the show on DVD. My mom has seen bits and pieces of the show when I've watched it at their house. So obviously something else is bothering them. This is just ridiculous!
I have every intention of making it VERY clear to them that this book has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs. If I believed in everything that's in that show I would deserve professional help. That's crazy. I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I think that they don't believe that I do. And that's their issue and not mine.
I'm sure I'm stressing over all this and it's not going to be as bad as I think it will. And I certainly hope that's the case. I've been in such a horrible mood all day and I hate it! It's so draining to go around this pissed off about something. I'll be glad when this is over. Worse case scenario, I'm prepared to find a new place to live, a job, and keeping them out of my life until they can get over themselves. They don't own me and they can't force their beliefs on me. And I don't need their permission to own a book (no matter what book it is)!
I'll post an update after they leave!
~Lyra
Monday, June 1, 2009
I received my new tools!
My new tools arrived today! I'm so excited and I can't wait to use them. I also got my new ritual robe as well. Everything is so perfect. Here are some pictures of what I got...
Inanna's Star Necklace
Wand
Chalice
Crystal Ball and Stand
Snuffer
Athame
Mini Taper Candles and Holders
Broom
My Robe
Inanna's Star Necklace
Wand
Chalice
Crystal Ball and Stand
Snuffer
Athame
Mini Taper Candles and Holders
Broom
My Robe
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